“Maybe the journey isn’t about becoming anything.
Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
—Paulo Coelho
Many people identify with this concept of the healing journey. And though the healing journey is a universally understood reference, it looks wildly different and unique from person to person. Yet, when someone says they are on a healing journey, another who is also on their own healing journey relates completely. So amidst the variety of what a healing journey may look like on the surface and in its execution, what is it that connects us all to this concept of the healing journey, where nothing but speaking that phrase leaves someone with full understanding?
In its rawest form, a healing journey is the process of deconstruction and reconstruction. Breaking down those patterns and beliefs (both cognitive and somatic), which were born as survival strategies, and discovering and building new ways of being that reflect our true, integrated, and authentic self, which ultimately bring inner well-being and wholeness. So we embark on a path of trying different tools and approaches that speak to us and promise relief from what we perceive as being the problem keeping us from our aforementioned realized self.
However, from person to person, no two paths are exactly the same. Some start early, while others join the path later. Some decide to sprint up the trail, while others meander slowly. Some don’t like to go too deep into their travels, while for others, it is a lifelong quest. And there are times on this path where you slow down, speed up, take a detour you didn’t expect, circle back to somewhere you’ve already been, or stop and take a break altogether. There will be trial and error. But you create the map of your own healing journey. Where, when, and how you navigate your journey, and the approaches you take while en route, are up to you and your readiness to embark.
In some ways, I believe, as humans, we are ALL on a healing journey of some kind. There are always going to be opportunities for us to be catapulted into new awareness and birth forth new iterations of ourselves. Though, admittedly, some of us have steeper mountains to climb to overcome our real and/or perceived adversity and expand into healing. The difference being some of us take up the cause in ernest while others of us ignore the opportunity to evolve, walking past the trailhead and deciding not to deviate from their current course. For some of us we need time and assurance to be persuaded that if we divert from our path the terrain won’t get too difficult to navigate. There is no shame, or right and wrong way, in how you choose to approach your journey. It is YOUR journey and YOU get to create what it looks like.
Sometimes, we are forced into a healing journey by outside circumstances that culminate in a rock-bottom moment, which shifts our awareness and shows us how our current way of being no longer serves us–shining a spotlight on the need for change in our lives. For others, the fear and pain of staying the same in our emotional and psychological self, and/or real-life 3D circumstances, outweighs the fear and risk of a new way of being with an unknown outcome. Either way, we recognize our survival no longer rests in the old ways of being, the old survival strategies, the old patterns and defensive mechanisms, and we are willing to push forward on a new path with different landscapes and experiences. We have come to an awareness that how we are in engagement with ourselves, and thus the world around us, are not necessarily fixed (though it may feel that way sometimes), and that we want a life that is more enriched, more connected, and more peaceful from where we are coming from, and so we choose to embrace the healing journey that awaits us.
Oftentimes, people mistake the pursuit of “happiness” with the healing journey. Once I am thin, or have more money, or am loved by a particular person, etc. I will be whole. But the problem with these pursuits is they are looking externally for the answer. It is looking for outside circumstances to create change when the answer, rather, lies within. The healing journey is an inside job. Consequently, often times that pursuit of happiness is the very beginning of the healing journey for some. When
As mentioned above, the healing journey is about a process of deconstruction and reconstruction. We are not deconstructing our outer world, we are deconstructing our inner one. If we are not connected to ourselves, what is connecting us to the outside world? The patterns and expectations of what others wanted from us. If we are not connected to ourselves, how do we know actually what we want, what is good for us how best to take care of ourselves? Our healing journey needs to be about self-discovery and self-connection first. As that comes into play, the way we interact with the world around us automatically begins to shift. Going around and attempting to change our outside circumstances expecting that therein lies our own salvation is a fools journey.
What is important to know about the healing journey is that everything came before, whether it worked for you or not, has gotten to this place here and now. The person that you were the person you evolved into with new practices. For the most part, the majority of us do not turn on and off like a switch. I’m doing this one day and I’ll do something different the next. Rather we gradually ease our way into change. This is actually very important, from a somatic perspective, so as not to overwhelm our nervous system despite the fact that we want out of pain YESTERDAY.
All is welcome.